You Are Not Your Worst.

Not again!!! Ughhh! 

I’m so freaking scatter-brained and forgetful!! 

This morning I missed an appointment with someone who needed me because I allowed myself to be overwhelmed with another, less important task.

I’ve done this several times over the course of my career and nothing drives me down the pit of despair quicker. I ridicule, condemn and beat myself up for this oversight and it effectively ruins me for the rest of the day.

This is my ‘this will self-destruct in 10 seconds’ notification. I am virtually useless for the better part of the day.

I completely realize that this is a dangerous place to be because I become dejected and apathetic, so you know the decisions I make in that state are top notch! 

Sike!

As a leader, I don’t have the luxury of resting in the filth of my own condemnation. There are people that are counting on me to make sound decisions when it matters the most. 

But when I feel like I let people down, instead of the dunce hat, I feel like I put on the dunce glasses. Meaning, that incident shapes how I see the world while I’m dealing with (or trying not to deal with) the emotion of the circumstance. 

The moment ignited the feeling of inadequacy and therefore, I see everything through my own inadequacies. Through those lenses, I question all of my actions and decisions. I don’t carry the confidence, surety and resolve of a leader in that state and I become a liability rather than an asset.

What I have to continually remind myself is that it is merely a moment. A moment of forgetfulness, a momentary loss of clarity. A moment does not define a life. In the same way a sentence can’t define a novel and one note can define a song. 

I routinely have to catch myself from being captivated by the lens of the moment. Especially now as times become more and more uncertain and difficult. During these times we tend to go more inward and become more critical of ourselves when the truth is,

We must recognize we aren’t perfect and cut ourselves some slack.

We don’t become the worst version of ourselves because we make mistakes. It’s merely a moment and we aren’t the culmination of our worst moments.

For me, I have to accept the mistake, own it and go to the person and acknowledge my transgression. Regardless of the response I intentionally forgive myself for being human and look for ways to prevent the same occurrence in the future.

Only when I forgive myself for my actions, do the lenses come off and the effect of the moment no longer clouds my perspective.

If we’re not careful we could wear the lenses of a negative moment for a considerable amount of time. The longer we wear those false lenses the more likely the emotions of that moment become our primary state.

Accept that it happened, own it, acknowledge your error with the people involved and forgive yourself.