squad goals.

We say that we don’t care what people say or think about us…

The honest truth is we care; 

A lot.

Not about what everyone says but there are people that we have allowed into our hearts one way or another and how they see us matters significantly.

At some point the adoration that comes from your mother doesn’t hold the same weight it did when you were younger.

She’s supposed to say that she thinks I’m dope.

But what do the people I most identify with think about me?

I heard a theory years ago that we are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.

It is so true. 

They become our tribe, our clan, our folk, our family.

They define the bounds of our perspective; of how we see the world.

I remember when I expressed to my tribe early in my naval career that I intended on becoming a Chief of the Boat.  We were all young third and second class petty officers at the time.

The laughs that my declaration elicited from my tribe were… jarring.

“Are you kidding bro, we hate this submarine *crap*!”

“COB?, bro you probably won’t even make first class!”

“Bro, you must have had too many 40’s that makes no sense, that ain’t for us…”

I had attempted to exit the comfortable confines of my tribe’s worldview. As I approached that boundary, my clan quickly reigned me in to come back home.

But… this was no longer my home. No longer my clan. No longer my tribe.

How was I supposed to go on?

I cared for these people and maybe they were right.

Such audacity to think that I could reach such a position.

My tribe keeps me safe, they watch my back to ensure that I don’t wander off and get consumed by a predator.

How could I ever venture out on my own and forge my own path without them?

By losing my sight.

One of my favorite movies is The Village by M. Night Shyamalan. 

If you haven’t seen the movie, stop reading this right now because I’m going to ruin it for you.

It came out in 2004, so I don’t feel bad about it either.

The movie depicts a Amish-style community seemingly set in the 1800s that is completely cut off from the outside world.  They believe that there is a dangerous creature within the woods around their village.  When a tragedy occurs that requires one of them to travel beyond the woods, the blind daughter of the clan elder is sent along with two young men.  The two young men abandon her and she is left to fight the “creature” who is really one of the villagers dressed in a monster’s costume. She is able to outsmart the “monster” and reach the edge of the woods.

The major twist happens when she climbs the wall at the edge of the woods and it is revealed that they are in fact in the 20th century as she is almost hit by a car.  She is able to get the help she needs and return back to the village. The head villagers used the monster as a way to keep everyone within the village.

I find it completely fascinating that it required the blind daughter to venture out beyond the safety of the tribe.

Instantly I am reminded, we walk by faith not by sight.

In our reliance on our sight, the logical, the sensible, the reasonable, the safe things keep us from approaching the boundaries of the impossible.

Your tribe will tell you that it’s dangerous out there, that you will never succeed, that you will return home with your tail between your legs.

When your current tribe tells you that you can’t…

You must flee that place immediately.  They are conditioning you to believe monsters exist beyond the woods.

The only monster is their collective fear.  

Monsters only exist in places where there is no light…

Go and be that light.

Find you a tribe that will continually push the boundaries of what’s possible.

Find you a tribe that will not allow you to be comfortable with just enough.

Find you a tribe that will love you enough to push you to your destiny.